


Try, Try Again

by cavedinwriter



Series: You'll Find What You're Looking For [2]
Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: AU, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Higgs gets his ass handed to him by a capable woman, Higgs is needy, M/M, Rating May Change, Sam gets a hobby, Tags May Change, Warnings May Change, bcs i need to give the wlws some love, if anyone is craving grossly domestic sam/higgs this is it babyyyyy, part 2 of a series, possible fragile/mama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23506267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cavedinwriter/pseuds/cavedinwriter
Summary: Sam rolled over sleepily, surprised to not bump into a warm body next to him in the bed. He opened his eyes and found the space beside him empty and cold. He sighed and closed his eyes again. Higgs had started getting up early and taking walks outside their bunker. It still felt strange to think of it as their bunker, even though Sam reasoned it had stopped being Higgs’s and started being theirs the moment he dragged him back from the tar lake. That was a little over a year ago. But recently, Higgs had been getting restless.This is a sequel to a previous fic, which you can read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23256733It's not gonna make a lot of sense if you haven't read that yet.
Relationships: Sam Porter Bridges/Higgs Monaghan
Series: You'll Find What You're Looking For [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683781
Comments: 8
Kudos: 48





	1. Not Alone, Not Any Longer

**Author's Note:**

> Wooo time for part 2 of this bad boy! I had a lot fun writing this chapter, so I hope you enjoy!   
> If you somehow made it here without reading the summary, this is PART 2 of a series!! So go back and read part 1 if you haven't already.

Sam rolled over sleepily, surprised to not bump into a warm body next to him in the bed. He opened his eyes and found the space beside him empty and cold. He sighed and closed his eyes again. Higgs had started getting up early and taking walks outside their bunker. It still felt strange to think of it as  _ their _ bunker, even though Sam reasoned it had stopped being Higgs’s and started being theirs the moment he dragged him back from the tar lake. That was a little over a year ago.

But recently, Higgs had been getting restless. He would tell Sam that was the case as he stared out through the skylight, or the first morning when Sam woke alone and rushed out the door in a panic to find a rosy-cheeked Higgs walking back to the bunker in the chilly morning air. He didn’t try to stop him, really. Higgs knew the area better than he did and assured him there were rarely BTs, which was true. Besides, he never went out when it was raining.

Sam wasn’t worried, not really. Higgs could more than handle himself. Still, he sometimes missed waking up with Higgs curled in his arms. Of course it was hardly every morning that he woke up alone. Just those days when Higgs bounced his leg at dinner more than usual the night before, or paced around the bunker all evening. Sam sat up groggily, deciding that he wasn’t going to get any more sleep. The sun was just about up anyway.

As if on cue, the bunker door made a hissing screech and opened and Higgs walked in. It was a wonder that Sam didn’t wake up when he left by how loud that door was. Higgs saw that he was awake and smiled.

“Good morning, darlin.” He began to take off his jumpsuit and change into a warmer sweater.

“Mm.” Sam replied. He was still tired. Higgs came over to him and wrapped his arms around Sam.

“Sorry if I woke you.”

“Was already awake, don’t worry. Where’d you go?” Sam asked, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Higgs blushed. It had been a year, and yet he still blushed when Sam kissed him. He loved it.

“Nowhere in particular. Went north today though, I don’t usually go that way.”

“Mmm.” Sam grunted in acknowledgement, pulling him in again. Higgs happily climbed into his lap and kissed him. His lips and hands were cold from being outside, but Sam did his best to help with that.

“I’m gonna do some painting today.” Higgs announced, pulling away. Sam nodded.

“I have some orders to take care of. Some of them are a couple days out. Do you want to come with or stay here?”

“When will you be back?”

“Four days, max.”

“I’ll stay here. I might start rearranging things so we can build out.” Higgs said.

“Yeah, we should start on that when I get back. I won’t take any more new orders.” Sam said. He finally got up out of bed properly and went over to their closet to fish out his jumpsuit.

“I’m going to order some of the new stuff we want to put in.” Higgs called as he got dressed.

“Do we have space?”

“I won’t unpack or assemble it.”

“Alright.” Sam conceded. He finished pulling on his jumpsuit, and Higgs came over to help him with the straps. They both knew he didn’t need assistance, but it had become a ritual between the two of them. Little moments of intimacy in the uncaring world. Sam liked it. Higgs’s hands weren’t as steady as his own; they shook sometimes, but it was a gesture of care that he wouldn’t dream of giving up.

Higgs kissed him on the cheek again before he could start for the door.

“Do you have time to eat breakfast with your darling boyfriend?” Higgs tugged on his sleeve. Sam bit back a smile. It was moments like this that made up for waking up alone.

“‘Course.”

They sat together at their tiny gray table(which was soon to be replaced!) and ate. Their knees bumped against each other from how narrow the space under the table was. Sam was glad they would be expanding their bunker soon. They’d been living for a year in a bunker meant for barely one person. They were going to add more room for storage and just general walking space, and a small greenhouse topside so they could start growing their own food. The greenhouse had been Higgs’s idea, but it would be Sam’s to look after. Higgs insisted that he needed a hobby other than staring at the walls listening to sad music(Higgs’s words, not Sam’s), and so Sam had started researching something that would be useful for them.

He stumbled on a book about post-stranding gardening and found it to be surprisingly interesting. There was a lot to take into consideration when growing plants, but Sam found that he liked having something a little more mentally involved than making deliveries.

Eventually they finished their food and Sam stood up. Higgs waved to him as he headed out the door with his packages. Outside the air was cool and a crisp wind blew in his face. It was getting to be late fall. The temperatures where they lived tended not to get too extreme, but it snowed occasionally and it certainly got brisk. He put on some music and let his mind go blank as he set out on his journey.

Higgs spent the rest of the day with music blasting while he painted. He listened to a lot more energetic stuff than Sam did, but he enjoyed the occasional slow, sad tune. He preferred things that kept his brain distracted, though, especially recently. He felt so restless. It was almost like before Sam when he felt the unbearable pulling in his dreams, but he didn’t have nightmares anymore. And it wasn’t a pulling feeling, anyway. He simply felt pent up.

That was why he’d been taking walks and trying to take lots of deliveries recently. Every so often he just felt a little cooped, up, so he figured he needed to get out more. But it wasn’t helping. He felt like he needed to let some of the extra energy go, but he had no idea how.

He was working on a painting of what he imagined their greenhouse might look like in a few years. He was done blocking in the colors- bold greens and yellow -and now he was moving on to the details. He started running out of yellow and looked through his paints for a fresh tube. To his dismay, he realized he was out. He sighed. It was high time he ordered some new paints.

He opened his terminal and started sifting through the list of porters. He recognized some of the faces. Under the freelancing tab, he noticed a name that sounded familiar.  _ Fragile Express _ . A small company, run by Fragile herself, he was pretty sure. He hadn’t heard of them until Sam mentioned them several months ago. He’d done a little bit of research but there wasn’t too much information out there, other than simply logs from the porters. One thing he did find out which surprised him was that Fragile herself was a porter, she didn’t just run the company as a figurehead.

Other than that, though, there was no information he could find about her. Certainly nothing about possible DOOMS abilities. He wondered if he could get one of Fragile Express’s porters to deliver to him, if he could ask them about her. It was worth a shot, plus he really needed new paint. 

There was also the matter of ordering new furniture for their remodel. He and Sam had made a list of the supplies they needed already, so Higgs got to ordering as many of them as he figured they could fit comfortably. Unfortunately, that ended up not being very many. Their bed took up about a quarter of the room, then there was almost another quarter taken up by his easel and paints and canvases. There was a desk near their bed, and shelves covering most of the wall space, holding various history books(and more recently started containing books about gardening or cooking for Sam). Then of course, the tiny kitchen and bathroom that split off from the main room. All in all, not a lot of space to store packages.

Once the order was placed, Higgs went back to painting, focusing on the areas of it where he had all the colors he needed. He slipped into a state of focus, forgetting for a while the restlessness that had been bothering him for so long. Before he knew it, it was evening again. He went to make himself dinner.

Two days later, Higgs woke up earlier than the sun. He opened his eyes to a dark room and a darker skylight. He tossed his arm out to the side sleepily, expecting to hit a warm body next to him. No, that’s right, Sam was out making deliveries. He sat up and blinked in the dim light. He glanced at a clock and it was just a bit before the sun was supposed to rise. He rolled out of bed and pulled on some clothes.

He slid into his boots and opened the door with a screech. There was dew on the grass and a fog that rolled out down the valley. He took a deep breath of the cool, damp air. He wrestled the door closed behind himself and started walking. He was going vaguely west with no destination in mind. Just the energy pulsing through his body telling him to move. He hiked diagonally up the side of the valley. It was a shallow incline, so he barely noticed the ache in his legs.

By the time he reached level ground, the sun was about to rise. He took a break and sat himself down on a rock to watch the sun come up. The sky was a hazy gray that slowly bled into pink as the first sliver of sun rose above the earth. It went from pink to gold then to a gray blue when the sun was fully over the horizon. The dew and fog were starting to burn off by the time he headed back home. 

When he got home from his walks, he always felt a little less restless. A little more sated. Like he’d blown off some steam. It was never quite enough, but he took what he could get. He stripped off his sweater when he got inside, leaving him in just his tank top and thick sweatpants. He started getting ready for the day, fixing himself breakfast and taking a look at the tasks he had to get done. It wasn’t long before a notification sounded by the door. His packages had arrived.

He walked over to the heavy door and pulled it open to see a woman in a black porter uniform standing there, unloading packages. She looked surprised to see someone actually answer the door. Her suit said  _ Fragile Express _ down the front of it, and the left leg. Higgs was pretty sure that this was Fragile herself, but he didn’t know for sure.

“Hello. I’m assuming you’re Higgs Monaghan.” She said. She had an accent that Higgs couldn’t place, but it was nice to listen to. Her hair was light and swept back off her face like a wave.

“I am. This might be a stupid question, but are you Fragile?”

“The one and only.” She said dryly, cracking a small smile.

“I heard you can teleport.” He said, taking the packages from her. Her face became a little more guarded. He realized it was a suspicious thing to lead with.

“Who told you?”

“Uh. Mama. Come to think of it I don’t know her actual name.” Higgs said, shrinking in on himself a little. To his surprise, Fragile’s expression softened.

“Ah, Målingen.” Higgs straightened.

“Guess the two of you know each other, huh?” He said.

“We do. Though I’ll admit it’s been too long since I’ve paid her a visit. How is she?” Fragile smiled softly.

“She’s doing well. Helped us with a lot. Want to come in and rest for a moment?” Higgs offered. Fragile shifted, clearly considering. Finally, she spoke.

“Sure. But I have other deliveries to pick up, I can’t stay long.”

“Of course.” Higgs said. He stepped to the side to let her in. She sat down at the table while he shoved the door shut and stacked the packages in an empty corner. 

“You said ‘us’. Do you live here with someone?” Fragile remarked. Higgs nodded.

“Yeah, with my boyfriend. We’re both porters, too, he’s out right now.”

“I see.”

“Do you want some tea or somethin’?” Higgs asked awkwardly.

“No, thank you.”

“Alright. I hate to pry,” He said, grabbing the package that he presumed to be his paints, “But you didn’t really answer my question. I’m just curious because… Well, Mama mentioned you because she said you’re the only other person she’s met who can teleport.” Fragile looked up at him sharply. He stopped in the middle of opening the package to meet her gaze. 

“You can too?”

“Yeah.” Higgs got quiet. Her gaze was intense.

“Wow,” She whistled, “I thought I was the only one. Or at least the only one in America.”

“Not anymore.” Higgs chuckled softly, paints forgotten.

“How often do you do it?” Fragile asked with a casual tilt of her head. Higgs swallowed. It made him clam up to think about using his DOOMS again, honestly. It had been almost a year, but he hadn’t jumped. Hadn’t summoned anything. The most he did was keep an eye out for BTs, which was useful, but also wasn’t something he had control over. He could see them without thinking about it. He was always careful to give them a very wide berth.

“I haven’t used it in… a long time. That’s why I wanted to meet you,” He said. The words came slowly and stuck in his throat. He wished Sam was there, “I wanted to meet someone who knew what they were doing.”

“Ah, I see.” Fragile said. She either didn’t notice how uncomfortable Higgs was, or was being polite, “You want somebody who can help you.”

“If it isn’t too much trouble.” 

“Hm. Well, I can certainly give you my contact info. In fact, if you ever  _ really _ need something, just call me and I can jump to you.”

“Oh.”

“I have to get going, but I’d be glad to meet in the future and we can discuss how I might help you.” She stood up. Higgs stood too, walked her to the door and wrenched it open. He really needed to do something about the door, he thought to himself.

“Thank you. Safe travels, Fragile.”

“See you around, Monaghan.” She smiled. There was a familiar crackling sound, and suddenly she was gone in a cloud of gray and gold particles that dispersed quickly. Higgs blinked. He’d never actually  _ seen _ teleporting happen. It struck him to think that this was what Sam saw when he teleported. Quietly, he backed up and wrenched on the door again. It closed with an echoing thud, and he was alone again.


	2. Two Steps Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can probably tell. I get freaked out by teleporting. I want somebody who knows what they’re doing to help me.”  
> “What bothers you about it?”  
> “It makes me think about… last time.” Higgs said slowly. Sam could tell there was something more that he wanted to say, and he was shrinking in on himself. That was something he’d noticed about Higgs in the year they’d been together so far. Sometimes there was something that he clearly wanted to say, but he couldn’t get the words out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took longer than I would've liked, so sorry about that! Next one should be a bit quicker, but online school is happening again so who knows.   
> Also, chapter count may get bumped up, because I potentially could end it with the next chapter, but I'm not 100% sure if I will.

Sam returned to Higgs four days after he left. It was late afternoon when he pushed the creaky door open. Higgs, who was sitting at his easel painting, rushed over and pulled him into a hug, starting on taking his jumpsuit off. Sam chuckled. Higgs kissed him tenderly.

“I missed you.” Higgs mumbled into his mouth.

“Me too. Got some packages in, huh?”

“Yep,” Higgs said in between kisses, “Got a story about that, actually.”

“Do tell.”

“Not until you’re not wearing your jumpsuit anymore. Get a sweater or something and come cuddle me.” Higgs insisted.

“You really did miss me.”

“I told you.” Higgs said defensively. Sam laughed, but he could sense that Higgs was a little tense as he plopped down on the bed. Sam did as his boyfriend said, kicking out of the jumpsuit puddled at his feet and changing into his usual thick wool sweater. 

He sat down on the bed next to Higgs, who immediately crawled into his lap and pressed gentle kisses into his neck. Sam leaned his head back, enjoying the shower of affection after the few days without it. It wasn’t as though he couldn’t handle being away from Higgs. In fact, he quite enjoyed the mix of together and alone time they got as porters. But one of his favorite things was the pent-up affection that (mostly) Higgs would release upon his return.

Eventually Higgs stopped kissing him and simply lay his head in the crook of Sam’s neck. Sam took it as a sign to start talking.

“You gonna tell me your story about the packages?”

“Oh, yeah,” Higgs sat up a little straighter, “I was looking through the listing of porters and individual companies to find someone to take the delivery. I ran across that company you mentioned a while ago when we were with Mama.”

“Fragile Express?” Sam asked. He was surprised Higgs remembered that conversation. Sam hadn’t thought about it since.

“That’s the one. Mama said that Fragile could jump, right? So I figured I could order from them, and then ask whatever porter showed up if I could talk to Fragile sometime.”

“Ambitious,” Sam raised his eyebrows, “You really thought they were just gonna give you her info?”

“Just you wait,” Higgs said with a gleeful grin, “I ordered the packages, and guess who showed up? Fragile  _ herself _ , Sam, I shit you not. So I asked her, are you Fragile, and she said yeah, so I asked her if she could really teleport. Oh, and get this! She knows Mama! By  _ name _ , Sam, this lady is incredible, I don’t know how I haven’t heard about her before.”

“Wait, hang on. She knows Mama?”

“Yeah. She asked me how I knew she could teleport, and I told her Mama told me, and she was like ‘Ah Målingen’.”

“Huh. Did she say how she knows her?”

“Nope. My guess is the same sort of story as us, really. They seem like they’re close. Or were close, I dunno. She seemed all nostalgic.”

“Small world. Why did you want to talk to her, anyway?” Sam asked. Higgs got quiet.

“I- You can probably tell. I get freaked out by teleporting. I want somebody who knows what they’re doing to help me.”

“What bothers you about it?”

“It makes me think about… last time.” Higgs said slowly. Sam could tell there was something more that he wanted to say, and he was shrinking in on himself. That was something he’d noticed about Higgs in the year they’d been together so far. Sometimes there was something that he clearly wanted to say, but he couldn’t get the words out. Sam wasn’t even sure Higgs knew he could tell. He didn’t know how to encourage him to talk, he just hoped the expression on his face looked open.

Clearly, Higgs wanted the conversation to be over. He lay his head back down on Sam’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Sam wrapped his arms a little tighter around him, and they took a nap together, sitting up against the wall in their bed.

Over the next week, Higgs and Sam made themselves busy digging out the space they wanted to build into. Once they had it cleared, it would be easy enough to build the walls and floors via chiral printer. But they still needed to clear space. So, they spent a few hours each day digging up more space beside their bunker. In the hours between digging and meals, they looked at more furniture and plants that they wanted to have once they had the space.

Higgs was relieved that they were finally expanding. He never thought of himself as needing much space. Even though their bunker would be considered on the smaller side for one person, he’d been happy with it on his own. When Sam moved in, however, it started feeling cramped. 

It wasn’t a matter of not wanting to be close to Sam, it was a matter of not having space for much other than the bare necessities. They didn’t have very much storage space, so they had to make more frequent trips to get food because they couldn’t store much. Their wardrobes were simple because there were only so many items of clothing that can fit under a bed. Higgs’s painting supplies, which had used to be sprawled out across the majority of the bunker, were restricted to the front left corner simply for the fact that they needed walking space.

Cozy was… certainly a word for it, one that Higgs tried to use more often. Sam was blunter though, deadpanning that he was going to go crazy if he had to spend another day with only a foot-wide clear space to walk around their bunker. Higgs agreed, though he chided Sam for being rude about it. 

In all honesty, they were so busy that week that Higgs hardly gave any thought to Fragile. He was too focused on remodeling. But once they finished printing the walls and floor of their new room, he had a little more time to think.

She had been nice, but the thought of reaching out made him nervous. What if, even with guidance, he got stuck again? What if he lost control? What if-

“Higgs.” Sam called. Higgs jerked his head up. Sam was standing in the “kitchen”(it could hardly be called that) holding two glasses of something.

“What’s that?” Higgs said, letting himself be distracted from his thoughts. Sam handed him one of the glasses. It was filled with a bright purple chunky liquid.

“Smoothie,” Sam said, “Used the fruit we had in the freezer. Figured we could treat ourselves.”

Higgs accepted the cup and took a bite with the spoon Sam had put in it. It was delicious. The bright flavor of it reminded him of summer, but the cold of it also served as a reminder that summer was still far-off yet. He gave a contented hum. Sam took his own cup and sat down at the desk.

“What do we still need to order? We have our new table and chairs…”

“We should order the bed frame.” Higgs reminded him.

“Right. We need another shelf. Did we decide which shelf we want?”

“I think we should put a real bookshelf in the new room. Then we can move all the other stuff to these shelves.” Higgs gestured to the industrial shelves around them. Sam nodded. They spent most of the rest of the day ordering things to be delivered by Fragile Express(At Higgs’s request).

Several days later, Sam answered the door to see a small group of porters, each wearing jumpsuits labeled Fragile Express. At the head of them was a woman with blond hair sweeping away from her face. They carried an assortment of packages. The woman in the front(who Sam assumed to be Fragile) smiled when she saw Higgs walk up behind him. Higgs waved weakly. 

“Hello, I assume you’re Higgs’s boyfriend.” Fragile said. Sam raised his eyebrows at Higgs. He hadn’t realized he’d told her about him.

“I’m Sam.”

“Fragile.” She shook his hand firmly, “We have your packages. If you don’t mind, I’d like to stick around and talk to Higgs.”

“Fine by me.” Sam shrugged. He and Higgs started taking packages from the other porters and bringing them inside.

“Feel free to head back, I’ll meet up with you later.” Fragile said to the other porters before going inside. 

Once all the packages were inside, the three of them sat at the table. Well, Higgs and Fragile sat at the table, and Sam sat awkwardly on the edge of the bed. It was close enough in their cramped space that it passed as a third seat at the table. In fact, Higgs would sometimes sit there to eat breakfast while still wrapped in blankets if he was particularly sleepy.

“It’s good to see you again Higgs, and good to meet you,” Fragile started, “I was wondering when you would reach out. This is a fairly ineffective way to reach out, you know.”

“I know. I didn’t even think you’d be part of this delivery. I just wanted to give you some business, I was going to say something eventually.” Higgs said.

“Eventually.” Sam snorted. Higgs scowled at him, but there was nothing behind it.

“Well, I’m glad we’ve crossed paths again.” Fragile said.

“Me too. I’m lucky like that.” Higgs nudged Sam’s foot with his own, and Sam couldn’t help smiling to himself.

“So, what did you want help with?”

“I guess I just want to know… how you jump. Cause I’ve only ever done it under stress. I don’t really know how I did it, I just jumped.”

“Oh,” Fragile’s eyebrows flew up, “So you  _ really _ don’t have much experience.”

“No.”

“Well, I can only travel to places I’ve been, or can see. I have to picture the place in my mind clearly. And then, I suppose I just draw on that feeling you get. You know what I mean?” She tilted her head, “It’s impossible to describe.”

“I know what you mean. I just don’t know how to… make it happen. It only shows up when I- When I really need it.” Higgs said carefully. Sam could tell he was trying not to give away what happened. 

“Hm. That’s interesting, I’ve never thought of my abilities as something that  _ happen _ . They just  _ are. _ ”

“Maybe that’s what I’m missing.” Higgs joked, but Fragile’s face was serious.

“Maybe it is. If you’re trying to draw upon something you’re not certain is there, you’re not going to be confident. If you’re not confident…” Fragile trailed off with a shrug. Sam watched Higgs swallow nervously.

“What if I’m not sure my abilities are there?”

“You’ve used them, haven’t you?”

“I mean there all the time. I’ve only been able to use them when I really need to, like I said.”

“Well, have you tried? Or is it simply a reflex when you don’t know what else to do?” Fragile said. Higgs fell silent and she continued, “When I was younger, it was a reflexive thing. If I didn’t know what to do, I would jump away. Now, I can jump, or I can fight. Or I can jump if I want to get home faster after a delivery. Or-” There was a crackling sound and particles in the air, and suddenly she was across the room. Sam stared, startled, and Higgs looked a little startled too, “I can do it whenever the hell I want. Because it is always there. It’s a part of me, Higgs, and it’s a part of you. You had it in you, therefore you  _ have it in you. Right now. _ ”

“I… don’t know. I mean, you’re probably right. I haven’t tried. Not… not in a while.” Higgs shifted uncomfortably. Sam could tell he was a little overwhelmed. He rested a hand on Higgs’s leg gently. Higgs calmed a little at his touch.

“What if I try jumping you somewhere? It can just be across the room.” Fragile offered.

“You can take other people?” Higgs asked.

“Yes. I need your help though. It will be an easy jump, if it’s just across the room, but I still need you to  _ let _ me bring you.” She stuck out a hand. Higgs stood a little shakily and took her hand. Fragile took his other hand and closed her eyes.

“Now imagine the kitchen, as clearly as you can. Picture it in your mind. Three, two, one-”

There was the familiar crackling pop, and Fragile and Higgs were suddenly in the kitchen. Higgs’s eyes flew open with shock. He looked like he was about to fall over, but he had a smile on his face. Fragile gave him a smile that had a hint of pride in it. 

“Holy shit,” Higgs laughed, “I didn’t think- I’ve never done it just because… because I can.”

“You did well. Now, I should get going. But Higgs, you should try jumping by yourself. And if you like, we can make a larger jump together sometimes to see how it feels.” Fragile started towards the door.

“Okay. Thank you, Fragile.” He said. Sam watched Higgs show her out. When the door finally creaked shut, Higgs flopped down on the bed with a giddy sigh.

“I can’t believe I did that. Sam, I’ve never- I mean, you were there.” He said. His voice was muffled into the blankets. Despite how bright his voice was, Sam could see that his hands were shaking.

Sam walked over and sat next to him. Higgs rolled onto his back, and Sam leaned over and kissed him. Higgs smiled. Sam ran his hand through Higgs’s hair and held his hand. Sam could hear Higgs’s breathing steady. He was a little worried. He was glad that Higgs was going to learn how to use his abilities, but he could tell it was stressing him out to think about using them. He just hoped that having guidance and having Sam there would keep him calm.

A month or so later, they had fully remodeled their home, and the greenhouse was built. They now had their new room, which had their bed, a desk and a skylight. Then in the main room, they moved Higgs’s painting things to where their bed had previously been. They had a larger table that had room for four chairs, moved Sam’s desk, and covered a lot of remaining space in shelves. They had room to expand the kitchen a bit, and had more pantry space. It finally felt like a space for two people.

Sam had enlisted Higgs’s help to fill the greenhouse. Higgs didn’t know nearly as much as Sam did about plants, but Sam had said he would tell him what to do. So far, they didn’t have many things, just a few plant starts. They were going to take a trip to a distro center to get more seeds soon.

Higgs grabbed an old water bottle and filled it, then followed Sam to the greenhouse. They didn’t bother getting an actual watering can, because Higgs said they could just use old bottles and cups. Sam showed him how much to water each seedling, and they made quick work of it. While Sam reorganized some of the supplies, Higgs decided he wanted to sit inside the greenhouse and sketch. It had plenty of room.

Sam put on some music and they worked on their respective tasks in a contented silence. Higgs liked moments like this. Sam wasn’t talkative, but he showed his love by asking for Higgs’s help or them sitting together or little pats on the shoulder. Meanwhile, if Higgs wanted to, he could talk over the music, ramble on about nothing and Sam would be happy to listen. Instead of rambling, Higgs sat in the silence, drawing. He heard Sam humming along to the music. The tugging in his gut was back, but not in a way that bade him move or look for something. It was simply there, reminding him how much he loved Sam. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading!


	3. One Jump Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The four of them stood outside of the distro center. Sam and Mama were hanging back, watching, while Fragile led Higgs out towards the grass. The sky was light gray with clouds, but showed no real signs of timefall coming soon. Mama was keeping an eye on the weather, just in case.  
> Despite the clouds, the sun still filtered through them and bright white light washed over everything. It stung Higgs’s eyes as he watched Fragile.  
> “Alright, you made that small jump with me already. You can do this one,” She said, walking a little further away, “We’re going to go over here, then we’re going to jump back over to Sam and Mama. Got it?”

Sam helped Higgs with the straps on his jumpsuit. They were getting ready for a several-day trek to a distro center where Fragile and Mama were waiting. Originally, they had just wanted to meet Fragile, but upon reaching out found that Mama was still there. They were both excited to see her again. Higgs had been nervous all morning, though. Fragile was planning to help him attempt a larger jump.

“You know you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” Sam said, tightening the final strap on Higgs’s jumpsuit and stepping away. Higgs nodded.

“I know. But I want to. I need to figure this out.” He said firmly.

“Just don’t go crazy doing it, alright?” Sam said, kissing his cheek. Higgs flushed.

“Yeah, alright.” Higgs snorted. They walked out of their bunker and Higgs pulled the stiff door shut.

Sam spent most of their journey in silence, while Higgs chatted absently to him. Occasionally he would answer if Higgs asked a question, or if he had something to say, but mostly he just listened. He liked the sound of Higgs’s voice, and was content to hear him ramble for hours. His voice was smooth and had a melody to it, the way it rose and fell, with the hints of an accent, worming its way into Sam’s heart.

The only stuff they carried with them was enough food and water to get them to the distro center, but they would be picking up deliveries on the way back. As if on cue, when they stopped in a timefall shelter to sleep, the sky darkened and it began to rain. Sam was reminded of one of the first times they met, when they’d taken shelter just like this and waited out a storm through the night.

Higgs was clearly thinking of it too, because with a small smirk towards Sam, he grabbed his speaker and turned on the same album Sam had played then. Things were a little different now though, and Sam couldn’t be more grateful for it. They curled up side by side, Sam’s arms wrapped around Higgs’s middle. They drifted off to the soft sound of music and rain outside. 

Sam was woken up by the sound of Higgs groaning in the middle of the night. When he opened his eyes, Higgs was twitching, and there was sweat rolling down his temples. Sam pulled him closer and whispered things to him to comfort him, rubbing a hand up and down his back. He soon quieted down, and Sam fell back asleep once he was calm.

Mama greeted them both with a hug when they arrived a few days later at the distro center.

“It’s so good to see you two!” She exclaimed, “I wish I’d kept in touch better, but you’re here now.”

“Good to see you too,” Higgs said, “We missed you.”

“As did I.” There was a crackling sound from behind them, and Fragile stood beside Sam and Higgs. Mama jumped a little, but soon broke into a grin.

“Fragile.” She said, joy clear on her face, with an undertone of something else that Higgs couldn’t place.

“Målingen. It’s been too long.” She said simply. Mama nodded and stepped forward with her arms out. Fragile met her halfway and they hugged tightly. After a long moment they pulled away.

“Well, I imagine the two of you would like a moment to recuperate before we try to do anything.” Fragile said. Higgs nodded. He and Sam took a private room and set down their things. Fragile and Mama went off somewhere else, likely to catch up with each other. 

“I want to catch Mama before we start this. I don’t want Fragile to know about… everything.”

“I figured. I’m sure we’ll be able to talk to her soon,” Sam reassured him, “By the way, a few nights ago, you looked like you were having a nightmare. Are you doing okay?”

“I’m just nervous.” Higgs said quietly.

“I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. Neither is Fragile.” Sam said. Higgs leaned his head on Sam’s shoulder.

“I know. Thank you.”

Sam kissed him on the top of his head. Higgs took a few deep breaths. There was a knock on the door, and Higgs’s head shot up, nearly smacking Sam in the chin. He got up and opened the door.

“Hi, Higgs.” Mama said. Higgs smiled.

“I was hoping to talk to you.”

“Oh?” Mama said, “Can I come in?”

“Absolutely.”

“Hi, Sam. So, how have you two been? I haven’t seen you in too long.”

“We’re good.” Sam said.

“I wanted to ask you if you could maybe not tell Fragile about- Everything. About me.” Higgs stumbled.

“I figured you wouldn’t want to tell her,” Mama reassured him, “It’s not my story to tell. I won’t say anything, don’t worry.”

“Thank you.”

“How do you and Fragile know each other, Mama?” Sam piped up. Mama smiled.

“I used to order a lot of medical supplies through Fragile Express. Sometimes Fragile would be the one delivering them, and we became friends. After the company’s focus shifted a little, I… haven’t seen her as much,” She said wistfully, “I’m glad that we’re getting this opportunity to reconnect.”

“You sound like you used to be really close.” Higgs said softly. Mama gave another smile with something under it that he couldn’t quite place. Sadness, nostalgia, maybe.

“Yeah. We were,” She responded. She sighed quietly, then took a breath, “Well, if the two of you are up for it, shall we go and find her?”

“Higgs?” Sam asked, concern in his eyes. Higgs steeled his nerves.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m ready.”

The four of them stood outside of the distro center. Sam and Mama were hanging back, watching, while Fragile led Higgs out towards the grass. The sky was light gray with clouds, but showed no real signs of timefall coming soon. Mama was keeping an eye on the weather, just in case.

Despite the clouds, the sun still filtered through them and bright white light washed over everything. It stung Higgs’s eyes as he watched Fragile.

“Alright, you made that small jump with me already. You can do this one,” She said, walking a little further away, “We’re going to go over here, then we’re going to jump back over to Sam and Mama. Got it?”

“Yeah.” Higgs said. His legs felt wobbly, but he was ready. Fragile held out her hands and Higgs grasped them tightly.

“Picture Sam and mama in your mind. The grass in front of them. Three, two, one.”

In an instant they were gone, and in another instant they were back in front of Sam and Mama. Higgs let out a triumphant laugh. His hands were shaking, still, but Sam was the only one who noticed. Fragile gave him another proud smile.

“Good job. Do you think you can do another one?” She asked. Higgs nodded, feeling the energy coursing through him.

“Yeah. Yeah, let’s do another.” Fragile took his hands again.

“Let’s go back to where we just were, okay?” She asked, and Higgs nodded, “Three, two, one.”

Higgs could swear he saw a sliver of darkness in between being one place and the next. It filled his gut with a nervous tension, but he didn’t say anything. He wasn’t going to get stuck. He  _ couldn’t _ , he had Fragile. He knew where he was going.

“Let’s do one more.” He said. Maybe if he did another he could push past it. Maybe he was just imagining it, and he hadn’t seen the Beach at all.

“Okay. Are you sure you have enough energy?” Fragile asked.

“I can do it.” Higgs insisted.

“Okay. Back to Mama. Three, two, one.” As she counted down, Higgs got a sudden spike of anxiety. Higgs could still feel her hands on him as they went to the Beach, but just as soon she was gone. His anxiety rose as he saw the Beach take shape around him, whales and fish lying beached in the black sand, but no Fragile. He was alone. He was stuck. 

Fragile came back to reality with her hands held out, expecting to still have Higgs gripping her hands tightly. Her hands grasped around empty air; Higgs wasn’t in front of her anymore. She whipped around, but he wasn’t behind her either. She could see panic on Mama and Higgs’s faces.

“Higgs?” She shouted.

**

Higgs screamed into the emptiness that was his Beach. He was stuck for so much longer than he had been last time at this point. The last time had been only a few seconds, but it was already enough to terrify him. But here he was, it had been almost thirty seconds, he was sure, and he was still stuck. Fighting down the panic that was taking him over, he tried to picture something from reality in his mind. Something that would bring him back, something steady. Sam.

**

“Where the hell did he go?” Sam shouted. Fragile looked like she was on the verge of tears.

“I don’t know! I felt him jump with me, but he didn’t come back. He’s- I think he’s stuck.”

**

Sam. Higgs closed his eyes, ignoring the fact that he could still  _ feel  _ the Beach around him. He pictured Sam, standing in front of him in the grass, steady arms held out as if to hold him. The panic was still roiling in his stomach. He felt like he was going to throw up, but he had to make it back. Had to make it back to Sam. 

**

There was a distorted crackling sound and Higgs popped into view in front of Sam. Sam started crying with relief when Higgs collapsed into his arms.

“Higgs, Higgs? Can you hear me?” He cried desperately. Higgs grabbed his arms weakly but said nothing. Instead, he turned to the side and vomited. Tar spilled from his lips, staining the grass black. Sam gathered him up in his arms and started towards the distro center, ignoring Fragile calling after him.

He took Higgs into their room and lay him on the bed. Higgs had kept his eyes closed the entire time. It reminded Sam in an ugly way of what had happened before. He should’ve seen this coming. Higgs had seen it, why hadn’t Sam? He’d been so scared of getting stuck again. Sam rubbed his eyes and found tears that he hadn’t realized were still running down his face.

Mama came in to check on him, reassuring Sam that Higgs would be okay after he got some sleep. Fragile knocked on the door but Sam didn’t let her in. He was angry, angry at Fragile and at himself. He knew it didn’t make sense, but it was easier to blame somebody than accept that it just… was. 

  
  


Higgs was dreaming, and he knew it. That knowledge did nothing to dispel the terror he felt at being back on the Beach. He just wanted to wake up and be back with Sam. He didn’t want to see the Beach again. He looked around, hoping that maybe his dreaming mind could fill the Beach with pleasant things. It remained an empty gray void, as hard as he tried to will something nice into existence. He walked down the Beach for a while, carefully avoiding the water. Eventually, after what felt like hours of walking through empty gray, he sat down in the cold sand. He shut his eyes and drew his legs up to his chest, hoping that when he opened his eyes again he might be somewhere else.

Higgs wasn’t entirely sure if he was simply dreaming of something else when he opened his eyes, or if he was awake. He felt a hand in his and turned to see Sam lying asleep next to him, holding his hand. Higgs could’ve cried with relief, but felt too tired to do so.

“Sam,” He shook his boyfriend. His voice felt raspy, “Sam, wake up.”

“Hm?” Sam rolled over to face him and cracked his eyes open. His eyes widened and he sat up quickly when he saw that Higgs was awake, “Higgs? Holy shit, are you okay?”

“I’m… certainly still here.” Higgs said. Sam pulled him into a tight hug and Higgs felt some of the anxiety slipping away. Sam was here, he was going to be okay.

“Fragile shouldn’t have let you do that last jump.” Sam said angrily. Higgs sighed.

“I shouldn’t have kept going. It was my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Higgs. I know you were scared.”

“Well, it wasn’t her fault either,” Higgs shot back, “And besides, being scared was what got me stuck.”

Sam fell silent. He hugged Higgs a little tighter. Higgs wasn’t sure how long they sat there, Sam hugging him so tight that he couldn’t focus on anything else. It was exactly what he needed to take his mind off the rush of anxiety he got every time he thought about the Beach. Sam had always been his anchor.

**

“Fragile, it’s not your fault.” Mama said consolingly. Fragile was pacing in front of her. She shook her head.

“I could tell he was nervous. I shouldn’t have let him do it. He probably hates me.”

“He’s not going to hate you.”

“You don’t know that. I don’t know what I’m doing, Målingen.” She said helplessly. Mama stood up and hugged her. Fragile hugged her back, trying to stifle the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes. 

“I’ve missed you so much. I wish that we could’ve seen each other under circumstances that… weren’t this.” Mama laughed. Fragile smiled sadly.

“Me too.”

They sat down, and Fragile leaned her head on Mama’s shoulder. Mama took her hand.

“It’s not your fault.” She repeated. Fragile said nothing.

Higgs woke up before Sam did the next morning. He slid out of bed without waking Sam with practiced ease. The door to the private room was much smoother and quieter than their bunker door at home. He slipped into the still-dark hallway without a sound. He walked down the hall to the room he was pretty sure Fragile was staying in and knocked on the door softly. It was still pretty early, so he wasn’t even sure she would be awake. To his surprise, the door opened almost instantly.

Fragile opened it and looked surprised to see Higgs standing there. She also looked like she hadn’t slept. Her hair was messy, she was still fully dressed and there were bags under her eyes.

“Higgs?” She sounded a little afraid.

“Hi.” He said. He wasn’t sure what to say. He wanted to reach out, or to tell her that it was okay,  _ something _ , but he felt frozen.

“You’re okay?” She said in a small voice.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Can I come in?” He asked. Fragile nodded silently and stepped aside to let him in. He sat down, but she stayed standing, hugging her arms.

“I’m so sorry, Higgs.” She whispered.

“It’s okay-”

“It’s not! I knew you were nervous, I felt it right as we were jumping! I’m sorry.”

“If you felt it when we were jumping, then it was already too late,” He said softly, “I don’t blame you. It’s not your fault at all. I just… I have this hurdle, in my mind, that I think I need to get over.”

“I don’t blame you if you don’t want my help after that, but can I help at all?” She asked, sitting down beside him.

“Maybe. How did you feel when you first figured out using your abilities?” He asked.

“I was nervous, too. Definitely not as much as you, but I started much earlier so I guess I had an advantage. I tried to remind myself that I was in control. Not the Beach. Me. Maybe that’s something you’re missing. You had me to guide you, so you weren’t really in control.”

“Maybe,” Higgs repeated. For some reason, that seemed to click. The times when he’d used his abilities before, it was always in a last-ditch effort to regain control, “That actually makes a lot of sense.”

“I’m glad. I really am sorry, Higgs. I shouldn’t have let that happen to you.”

“It’s okay, Fragile. You were trying to help, and I think you did.” He said, standing up and smiling softly at her. She gave a weak smile in return.

He walked back into the hall. He reached to open the door to his own private room, but it was already opening from the inside. Sam;’s concerned face greeted him.

“There you are.” He sounded relieved.

“I was just talking to Fragile. I didn’t want to wake you.” Higgs said. Sam pulled him close.

“Do you know how terrified I was waking up without you after  _ that _ ?” Sam mumbled into his shoulder. Higgs frowned. He hadn’t thought of that.

“I’m sorry.” He pressed a kiss to Sam’s forehead, “I didn’t think you would worry. I should’ve woken you.”

“I just… miss waking up with you next to me.” Sam said quietly. Higgs kissed him again, on the lips this time. Sam melted into him and they stayed there for a long moment, holding each other.

They decided that they were going home that day. They got their gear ready, picked up their packages and said goodbye to Mama. Fragile had some packages to deliver in the same direction as them and with a little convincing from Higgs, Sam let her come along. Mama gave them each a tight hug as they left, and she gave Fragile a kiss on the cheek.

“Stay safe, you three.” She said. They nodded. 

They were heading in a slightly different direction than the way they came so they could deliver their packages, and Higgs kept a careful eye on the weather as they went. Most of the paths they travelled were dotted with timefall shelters, but there was a passage through the mountains that didn’t have much in the way of shelter. As they went through it, Higgs noticed with growing anxiety that the sky was darkening. He commented on it to Sam, who nodded.

“We’re probably going to run into BTs soon. We should just lay low if we do, I don’t want to deal with them right now.” He shot a pointed look at Higgs.

“Me neither, trust me.” Higgs shuddered. Fragile nodded.

They kept going at a slow crawl, keeping an eye turned to the sky as they picked their way through the rocks. To Higgs’s dismay, the sky soon darkened considerably. Drops of timefall began to fall. He cursed to himself, but they flipped up their hoods and kept going, Sam nudging Higgs to keep an eye out for them. So far, the way was clear. As they went further, he started spotting shapes hanging in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Next chapter should(?) be the last.


	4. Home Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Higgs looked out over the expanse of land the BTs had covered just moments ago. Now, they were nowhere to be seen. Even the tar was gone. He felt a sense of pride. He did that, he kept Sam and Fragile safe. And he was still standing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been... longer than I intended. I'm sorry. But this is the last chapter!! We made it!! Thank you to everyone who stuck around for this.

_ They kept going at a slow crawl, keeping an eye turned to the sky as they picked their way through the rocks. To Higgs’s dismay, the sky soon darkened considerably. Drops of timefall began to fall. He cursed to himself, but they flipped up their hoods and kept going, Sam nudging Higgs to keep an eye out for them. So far, the way was clear. As they went further, he started spotting shapes hanging in the air. _

  
  
  


“Sam, Fragile,” He hissed, “Stop. BTs up ahead.”

“Are you sure?” Fragile whispered. He nodded. They stepped back to him, letting him take the lead. He kept his eyes on the black shapes hanging in the air, shifting ever so slightly. He held his breath, and from the silence behind him could tell Fragile and Sam were doing the same. 

The BTs became denser and denser in front of them, until Higgs realized too late that they were pretty much surrounded. Anxiety twisted in his gut, but he forced himself to stay steady and calm. He tried to pick out a path in front of them but there was no way forward that wouldn’t disturb them. He tried to run the math in his head, wondering if they could simply outrun them once alerted. He could certainly try. And if they started catching up… Well, Higgs was feeling surprisingly steady. Maybe he could make use of his abilities. He fell back to Sam and Fragile and whispered to them.

“Is it worth it to make a break for it?” He murmured. Fragile shrugged.

“I don’t know, I can’t see them. They feel like they’re all around us.”

“They are,” Higgs said, looking behind them, “Honestly, I don’t know if we could even go back at this point.”

“Forward it is,” Sam said quietly, “Higgs, can you lead the way?”

“Yeah. Hold your breath, stay quiet, and follow exactly where I step.” He started forward, keeping his eye on the figures floating above them. They made it surprisingly far before the figures started to twitch and swirl towards them. Higgs swore under his breath and picked up the pace. Sam and Fragile did the same behind him. 

The BTs were starting to thin out in front of them. Higgs was relieved, they were almost free. He almost slowed down, but then he heard a loud curse from behind him. He whipped around to see tar welling up around Sam and Fragile. They were almost at the edge of it, mostly evading the hands grabbing at them, but it still sent Higgs into panic mode. Plus, there was the matter of all the BTs behind them that no doubt could hear them. 

Higgs reached forward and grabbed Fragile’s arm, pulling her out of the tar. Sam was further behind, his packages slowing him down. Fragile collapsed to the ground just out of the tar and Higgs waved desperately to Sam.

“Come on!” He hissed.

“I’m trying!” Sam grunted, chest heaving with the effort of pulling himself through the tar. The anxiety was rising in his gut again, and suddenly the tar was expanding even further, lapping at Higgs’s boots. Sam finally reached him but the hands were pulling him down and away.

Higgs grabbed his arms and pulled him up, trying desperately to keep him from being dragged into the tar. Sam held onto him for dear life. He could hear Fragile shouting encouragement from behind. The hands were pulling at Higgs now too, and he shut his eyes tight, trying to ground himself with the feelings of Sam’s hands gripping his forearms. He took a deep breath to calm himself, and drew on the power within him. He knew it was there, he knew he could use it, he just had to control it.

Like clockwork, something inside his mind and body finally clicked into place. He could feel the power welling up inside of him instead of fear. When he opened his eyes again, he and Sam were suspended in the air, far away from the BTs below that burbled in the tar. Sam stared at him with wide eyes, and Higgs grinned. Sam opened his mouth like he was going to say something, then shut it. Higgs pulled the rest of the BTs back into the earth, to make sure the area was completely clear. Once the tar was gone, he lowered them back to the ground.

Sam stumbled, clearly relieved to be back on solid ground. He looked like he was going to say something again, but instead shook his head and pulled Higgs into a hug.

“You did it.” He whispered into his ear. Higgs hadn’t stopped grinning.

“Yeah.” He replied softly, unsure of what else to say. Luckily, Fragile filled the silence.

“Holy SHIT!” She shouted, running over to them, “Higgs, that was amazing! You did it! I had no idea you could do  _ that _ , though. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Higgs shifted uncomfortably.

“The times I’ve used it in the past haven’t gone so well,” He said vaguely, “I can tell you about it once we reach a shelter or something.”

“Okay.” She gave him a look.

Higgs looked out over the expanse of land the BTs had covered just moments ago. Now, they were nowhere to be seen. Even the tar was gone. He felt a sense of pride.  _ He  _ did that, he kept Sam and Fragile safe. And he was still standing. He felt a hand slip into his and looked down.

“We should keep moving.” Sam squeezed his hand. He nodded, and they started off again.

Sam slid the remaining packages off his back. They’d made most of their deliveries along the way to the timefall shelter, but he still had a few things remaining. They were too far from any distro center to find a real place to sleep, so the three of them found a shelter. Sam watched Higgs flop down with a sigh and sat down next to him. Higgs lay his head on Sam’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Sam lay a hand on his thigh.

“So. Want to explain?” Fragile said, breaking the silence. She was sitting across from the two of them. Higgs picked his head up slowly.

“I guess I should start from the beginning, huh?” He looked over at Sam. Sam shrugged and nodded.

“Up to you.”

“The first time I used my abilities, Sam found me. I had fallen off a cliff running away from BTs. Would’ve died from my injuries even without the BTs after me, but Sam found me. Do you want to tell her what you saw? I still only remember bits and pieces of it.”

“Sure,” Sam said, rubbing his leg reassuringly, “I found him on the ground, surrounded by BTs. They were dragging him into the ground, but then suddenly everything kind of… exploded. But in reverse. It was like watching a voidout played backwards. The hands and the tar got sucked back into the earth.”

“Like what happened today.” Fragile said. Sam nodded.

“I grabbed Higgs, ‘cause I could tell he was still kicking and wasn’t gonna cause a real voidout. Brought him back to a distro center, Mama patched him up.”

“That’s how you met. She wouldn’t tell me how, just that she helped you out.”

“Yeah. The second time it was MULEs. Defended myself against them without even thinking about it,” Higgs continued, “Sam found me there too. The last time, I was trying to save Sam from BTs. I teleported for the first time, then. Got stuck. Passed out. Sam dragged my sorry ass back to my bunker, and the rest is history.” Higgs shrugged. Sam could feel his muscles tense up a little, telling the story, but Higgs’s voice was steady.

“Wow,” Fragile nodded slowly, processing, “So that’s why it’s been so difficult. It must be awful to be thinking about that every time you jump.”

“Yeah,” Higgs swallowed visibly, “I was so afraid of getting stuck again. Permanently. But I think I have a handle on it now.” His voice was firm and confident. Sam smiled to himself. He took Higgs’s hand, who turned away from Fragile and smiled at him.

The rest of the evening passed in a comfortable quiet. They pulled out the food they had packed with them and ate while talking softly. At some point it started to rain again, but there weren’t any BTs outside. 

The next morning, they parted ways. Higgs and Sam returned home and Fragile had other deliveries to make. When they got home, Sam helped Higgs out of his jumpsuit and peppered him kisses as he went. Higgs laughed, pulling him close.

“I’m proud of you.” Sam said into his shoulder. Higgs’s laughter trailed off.

“I couldn’t have done it without you.” He said after a long pause. Sam looked up at him.

“What do you mean?”

“I just wanted to get back to you. Something about you… your hands, it’s grounding. I tried to hang onto that feeling. Of your hands.” Higgs said helplessly. Sam kissed him again. On the mouth this time. Higgs melted against him, practically collapsing into Sam’s arms. Sam let his hands wander over his boyfriend; Over his shoulders, down his chest, on his hips, touching and caressing and holding. He walked Higgs gently back to their bedroom, keeping his hands on him the whole time.

Higgs pulled him in by his hair, earning a soft noise from Sam. Sam lowered him down onto the bed and crawled into his lap, breaking the kiss to suck marks into his neck. Higgs wriggled beneath him. Higgs tugged on his hair and Sam looked up at him. Higgs was really a sight. His lined eyes were wide, pupils blown, mouth hung open and gasping. 

“Kiss me.” He pleaded. Sam chuckled.

“I was.”

“On the lips, smartass.” Higgs rolled his pretty eyes. Sam obliged, climbing back up him to kiss him, slow and deep this time. Higgs opened his mouth to let Sam press his tongue in. Higgs whimpered and pulled Sam impossibly closer. Sam continued kissing him, pressing their bodies down against the bed. They broke away to breathe and Sam sat up a little bit.

“I’m hungry.” Higgs said out of the blue. Sam almost laughed.

“Me too. Want me to make something?”

“Yes please.” Higgs kissed him on the cheek. Sam climbed out of his lap(a little disappointed, but he really was hungry) and went to the kitchen. He could feel Higgs’s fond eyes on him as he went, and he smiled. 

A few minutes later, Higgs got a message from Fragile.

_ Home safe? _

_ Yeah. You? _

_ Just dropped off my last package, I’m resting for the night. _

_ Stay safe, Fragile. _

_ You too. You did a great job, Higgs. _

Higgs smiled to himself. For the first time since Sam moved in with him, things truly felt peaceful. Calm. He felt no underlying anxiety. There were no more boxes stacked around, keeping them from moving freely in their space. They were together, and happy. Things were under control. Sam came back to the table holding two plates. He put them down and kissed Higgs on the cheek.

“I love you.” He murmured. 

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Leave a comment if you enjoyed it :3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'll see you all soon for the next chapter.


End file.
